Just Breathe

So my medications for the IVF came the other day….so overwhelming….more so then I expected it to be…Then it came time to break out those needles and have at it….I am not going to lie….I am a tough chick….but I freaked!

Thankfully I am married to the most amazingly patient and supportive husband in the entire world. He hates needles but saw the terror upon my face and even offered to give me the injections. I don’t know what is worse….doing it myself and letting my husband do it. I decided that I could not put him through such a stressful time and I really need to save him for the injections in places I will not be able to do….that should be fun but one day at a time.

So I was anxious about these shots for days. The night before we started the injections I was cleaning and organizing the house….I did not know what else do to…my husband stood back and let me do my think which I was happy about. When it came time to do my injections I cried for an hour before and about 45 minutes after. I felt like such a baby but I did it.

Last night was my third injection and I will say that it has become easier each time. I am hoping pretty soon that it will become second nature. My mother, a two time breast cancer survivor and probably the bravest person I know, told me she doesn’t think that she would be able to give herself injections. It kind of made me feel better. To know that I am also very brave. I want a baby and this is what I have to do to have one. I think it is a small price to pay. Being a mom is my calling in life….

The doctor says everything is running smoothly and our retrieval should take place sometime next week. Please send us your prayers and well wishes…

- The Mad Mama

Ask BEFORE You Pee

As many of you already know my husband and I have been going through fertility treatments for almost a year now. I am a pro at the routine doctor visit. Go in for a sonogram, blood work, and then chat with the doctor. I do this 1 – 3 times a week depending on where I am in my cycle. Like I said…I am a pro.

I had one particularly uncomfortable experience when I did not empty my bladder prior to my sonogram. I didn’t feel like I had to go until the tech was poking around inside me…he even commented on how large my bladder was!! I thought I was going to have an accident…right on the table…it took every inch of my to keep it all together. After that I decided that I would empty my bladder, even if it didn’t feel like I had to, before each sonogram.

So yesterday before going into work I had a saline sonogram. Essentially the doctor is looking for anything physical within your “lady parts down under” that could cause an issue with either conception or successfully carrying a child to term. They fill you up with saline solution and then take pictures as it comes out. He also performed a “trial transfer” inserting the catheter for the future egg transfer. Not the most fun procedure but not nearly as bad as some of the other testing I did.

So as soon as I signed myself in I emptied my bladder. Suddenly there was a frantic knock on the door as the nurse desperately tried to get my attention. It was too late. When I opened the door she handed me a cup…this procedure requires a pregnancy test and now my bladder was completely empty!

She told me to down a bunch of water and try again. I drank so much water in the waiting room my stomach ached…Then I had to do my thing…so there I was…sitting in the bathroom singing twinkle twinkle little star and hoping for the smallest sample to put in the cup. After sitting there unsuccessfully for what seamed like an eternity I started praying to God. I will say that I am not an incredibly religious individual but in this moment of desperation I asked God for help…when I looked down my cup was full…I guess he has not forgotten me as I feared, as I imagine most people dealing with infertility do. He hasn’t forgotten me.

So I went through the procedure just fine and the doctor says that my uterus is “beautiful”. I will say once the procedure started the nurse turns to me and says “I bet you can pee now”…And I did…about twenty times in the next few hours.

So I am happy to have a uterus that is ready for a baby and I learned a very important lesson…Ask Before You Pee!

Keep on Dreaming,

- The Mad Mama

10 Things You Can Do To Help a Couple Struggling With Infertility

Image by lotusutol via Flickr

If you have read my previous post then you may be wondering what you can do to help a couple you know and love get through their infertility journey. I have compiled a few suggestions that will help you take a more proactive approach.

1. Let them cry it out….they need a shoulder to cry on

If you have gone through the process or not you can still, on some level, understand and relate to what they are going through. This is especially true if you are lucky enough to be one of the people the couple keeps close and shares their experience. Even if you have not gone through it you can relate to the feeling of being out of control. Of wanting something more than anything in the world and not being able to do a thing about it. Just be there, listen, give them a hug and a tissue. They will thank you for it in the end

2. Offer to take them out…

Infertility can feel like an odyssey of loneliness. You may be reluctant to share information about the process or may be plain embarrassed. Most times you don’t want to go out for fear of seeing pregnant women or mothers with a boatload of children scurrying behind them. It is easy to hide in the house, letting sadness overcome you, or worse. So offer to do something to take their mind off of it and get them out among the living. Take them to a movie, out to lunch, for a mani-pedi, or even just a walk. Being out and about among friends helps put difficult things into perspective.

3. Invite them over for dinner or bring over dinner

Infertility is a very costly process to go through. In addition to insurance woes we are talking co-pays for anywhere between 2 – 4 visits a week. My husband and I average about $100 a week in co-pays alone. So when money is tight the first expense to cut is entertainment. For us it means no more going out to dinner, which is a big part of our social life. Invite the couple over for dinner. Even if cooking is not your forte remember that anything tastes better when someone else makes it. They will appreciate the thought. Don’t have a kitchen? Pick up a pizza or some chinese and bring it by. The couple will thank you.

4. Send them a text or an email to let them know you have not forgotten about them

Anyone close to me know that this is a big one for me. I love getting an unexpected email or text. It is just nice to know that someone is thinking of you. When you are at the doctors office 2 – 4 times a week getting all different types of scary and emotional charged information it is nice to get a little message. It reminds the person that they have a support system of people who love and care for them. It helps them feel less alone.

5. Offer to help get them to doctor appointments

With all the emotionally charged information and the hormones raging through your system the sheer act of driving back and forth to your doctors can be a bit overwhelming.  There was one day where I seriously considered driving my car off the road and into a tree. The hormones make you crazy and they make difficult news harder to hear. Offer to be a designated driver. This way everyone arrives at their destination in one piece.

6. Remind them we are all on a different journey

When you are struggling with infertility it is difficult not to compare yourself to others…Compare what you have to what they have. Try to discourage this mindset and behavior because it is a lose lose situation on both ends. Be reassuring but try to discourage competition.

7. Look for books or blogs that may offer support

No one person has all the answers. Try to find books, magazines, or blogs that could offer support to the struggling couple. If you are not going through infertility check some of these resources out yourself. It may help you to better understand what you friends are going through. Helping the couple find a support system or give them positive real world examples of how people who went through the journey and were successful. This takes a bit of time and effort on your part but it may be just what the couple needs.

8. Help connect them to other couples who went through or who are going through a similar journey

Do you know other couples that have gone through a similar experience? Do you know any couples that are going through the experience now? Speak to each side before hand to gage their comfort level in sharing their experiences. Stress that in sharing their experience they will be helping other couples on the same journey. If it feels like a good fit arrange for them to meet. The more people in a person’s support group the better.

9. Be their advocate

Your friends may not be able to be their own advocates in the friend group or even in their families. Emotions run high and the stresses of infertility can make energy for anything else difficult. You don’t have to share their deepest secrets but try to help manage relationships with people who may not have as much of an understanding of the situation as you do.

10. Be understanding

The couple is engaged in a high stress situation which in turn affects all other aspects of their lives. Just be understanding. They may not always be at their best. They may snap at you or be distant. Just remember that if they love you enough to keep you close than you may be in a situation to get some of heat indirectly. Just try to be understanding. Don’t let it be a excuse for treating you poorly but if they step out of line talk to them about it with the perspective that you know where they are coming from. They will thank you for this one day.

The best thing to do for a couple you know and love who are going through infertility is to be part of their support system. You can’t take the hurt and pain away but you can help make the experience a bit easier to go through. If they are truly a good friend to you they will find a way to make it up to you. And who wouldn’t want to have even a small part in helping a baby come into the world.

Thank you to all those who support us,

- The Mad Mama

Top 10 Responses I am Tired of Hearing

I have been struggling with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome my entire reproductive life. It is essentially a genetic hormonal condition which not only causes infertility but a host of lovely symptoms including hair loss, excess facial hair (fun fun) diabetes, weight gain, hunger, irregular cycles…the list goes on. I guess I won the genetic lottery because I have every symptom of the condition. I carry excess weight around my belly and I have type 2 diabetes because I have PCOS. All of those symptoms I can deal with. I never looked good in a bikini so in my eyes I am not missing out. The only symptom I cannot deal with is the infertility.

I have wanted to be a mother my entire life. I was so excited when I met the man of my dreams at 19 and we were married at 25. Understanding that the process of starting a family would be a challenging one I wanted to start our family right away. My husband needed more time. More time to grow up, get established in his career, all of which would make him a better father. How could I not respect that. He wanted to be the best father he could be. So we decided we would wait a bit and reevaluate it from time to time. At the beginning of this year he turned to me and said he was ready…lets start this family.

I was elated! I was finally going to have the babies I dream about every night!

So that was back in February…its November…and still no baby. It is a painful and long road when dealing with infertility. Along the way everyone wants to give you advice. They mean well but I don’t think they realize what they are saying. After a while you just learn to smile and nod and hope they stop talking long enough for you to change the subject. Before the waterworks start.

So here they are…the top 10 responses I am tired of hearing…

1. You have not been going through the process that long

Ok really? I know that it may not seam like a long time to go though this process and yes I understand that healthy couples try for a year before they are even able to consult a fertility doctor but the process seams like forever. When healthy/normal couples try to conceive they do their thing, have a feeling, and then take a test. When you are going through fertility treatments it is constantly in your face. You are there two or three times a week and they are poking you with needles and sonogram instruments and constantly talking about your potential pregnancy. It is enough to make you go mad! So yes, to you the time I have spent may not seam like a lot to you but to me it is en eternity.

2. Everything happens for a reason

This is the standard response to the “yeah stuff sucks” scenario. Now I am not trying to be cynical because I am a believer in a bigger plan…bigger than we can ever even conceive. But it is nearly impossible to see it when you are going through the process and the last thing you need is someone to remind you that what your looking for does exist but your unable to see it. I certainly hope things happen for a reason but in the mean time I am unable to comprehend how the universe or whatever would keep me from the one thing I will be the absolute best at. Motherhood is my calling…how could it not be happening as soon as possible?

3. You will get pregnant when the time is right

Ok, and who determines this “right time”? I thought people said that the time is never right and that if everyone waited for the right time there would be no more babies. What people should say is “Sometimes the universe (or whatever you believe oversees us all) has crappy timing”. That is the one thing someone said to me that made me feel better.

4. You have to be patient

On some level I do agree with this one. I think all of us, myself included, could always use a bit more patience. And most of us are patient. We understand that pregnancy may not happen right away and that infertility is a process. But after months and months and even years of going through the process your patience gives way to sadness, hurt, and anger.

5. Just Be happy for them

How could I not be happy for them? They (insert couple) are having a baby. It is just hard not to feel some sort of jealousy or the general sense of being left out. When you are moving through fertility you work so hard to understand every piece of conception and pregnancy and to see someone achieve it with such ease can break your heart. It is not that they are pregnant it is that you are not and you are watching them experience all the wonderful things that you have been fantasizing about. You can’t help but cry on the inside (and sometimes on the outside) as you watch them at their baby shower or holding their baby or their child’s first Christmas because it makes it painfully obvious to you that you are not experiencing these things. You long for these things so much that it can, at times, consume you. Yes you are happy for them but watching them makes you long for your own baby even more.

6. In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is an involved and difficult process

Really….you think? Of course it is a difficult and involved process. They are getting your eggs, removing them from you body, fertilizing them and the putting them back in, all in hopes at least one not only sticks but is carried to full term. There is about a 35% birth rate for women in my age group. Of course the process is difficult, long, and involved. Reminding me of this is not going to change any of those factors. It will only increase the anxiety I will feel about the entire process.

7. You have so much to be thankful for

Yes I do. And longing for a baby does not change my level of thankfulness for all the wonderful things I have in my life. It is because the other aspects of my life are so wonderful that I want a baby even more. If those factors were out of whack I certainly would not be looking to add a baby to the mix. I want a baby…and I would be willing to trade anything for it.

8. Don’t worry…it will happen

Oh I HATE this one. With all the childless couples in the world how could I NOT WORRY about joining them? Those sad people who have everything in place and are unable to have a family. When people who should never be parents turn babies out like clockwork. If this was my second child and I knew I was capable of creating a happy healthy child this response would do more to comfort me. Now…it creates more anxiety…Yes, it will happen….you put enough fertilized eggs up in there one should stick by sheer probability. But what will I have to go through to get there? How many months do I have to feel the roller coaster of highs and lows before I get to be a mommy? I am probably the only person that would welcome morning sickness from conception to birth if it meant I was going to have my baby.

9. Don’t get so emotionally invested in the process each month

How exactly am I suppose to do this? Any suggestions? Maybe you could detach yourself from the experience if the hormones are are given don’t make you feel pregnant.   Your nauseous, your lady parts are crampy, your boobs hurt and swell, you can’t wear your regular bras, you get headaches, and your exhausted. And you have to behave, especially when you are diabetic, like you are pregnant. So you choke down the kale and grilled chicken, avoid the sushi and ice cream, all in attempts to provide your potential growing embryo with the best nutrition possible. In your eyes you are pregnant. How can you not get emotionally invested. When that test comes back negative your whole world crumbles. You were wrong…your not pregnant…why are you not pregnant…did you do something wrong…can you not get pregnant…is there something wrong with you that you don’t know about yet…could I have changed this outcome…All questions which answers suck. Don’t get emotionally involved….I would like to see you try.

10. You can always adopt

Yes, you can adopt. But this process is equally difficult, costly, and takes a great deal of time. It is not a puppy people. It is a baby. And as much as I fantasize about one day adopting a little girl from China I want at least one of my babies to look like my husband. This is something that crosses everyones mind, especially those struggling with infertility…yes, we know we can adopt. We are smart people perfectly capable of coming to that conclusion all on our own. We want to exhaust every option possible before we go down this very long and difficult road.

Now I understand that you or someone you know may have said one or more of these responses to someone you know and love going through infertility. You are human and are only trying to help. I just want you to understand how these responses are interpreted so that you can be more understanding of how we may respond. We love you and appreciate that you are trying to help make us feel better.

Stay tuned for my next post….10 things you can do to help a couple struggling with infertility…

Remember….It WILL be worth the wait

- The Mad Mama

Infertility is a Roller Coaster of Emotions

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I was planning on logging on a few weeks ago to post my disappointment in my bodies response to clomind.  After almost four months of taking the pill in gradually higher doses and checking for any progress 2 – 3 times a week I was giving up hope. There was nothing. No egg developing. And as we all know…no egg means no baby…

Then suddenly my sonogram showed that I was finally making an egg. I cried tears of joy the entire was home. Finally, after months and months, we were going to have a real shot at having a baby. I ovulated with the help of a shot my mother-in-law gave me at home and we were in business. We did artificial insemination and then we needed to wait two weeks for a pregnancy test to be done at the office.

After the first few days I was pretty nauseous  and I kept texting my hubby that my “lady parts” were crampy.  Yes, yes…finally….I was pregnant. Then one week after my insemination my blood work shows my progesterone was low and I just knew it…something wasn’t right. My nurses assured me everything would be fine and I started progesterone and tried to be patient.

The following week I tried so hard to be patient. The most difficult part was that the progesterone made me feel pregnant. I was nauseous and crampy and my boobs hurt and were swollen and I was so tired.I thought to myself….”How could I not be”. Again we had to wait.

Then the following night after starting the progesterone our good friends came over for dinner. They came to tell us that they are having a baby. They are about 8 weeks along. It wasn’t planned and we are all just so excited. We spent the entire night talking about how much fun it is going to be to have children who will be around the same age. I could see it all over my husband’s face…he wanted this baby as much as I did…maybe more…and again we waited.

Then a few days later we had dinner with our other set of good friend. These are the ones we were really hoping to be pregnant at the same time as. Well as you can guess they are pregnant also, about 8 weeks along. They had come from the doctor where they got to see their baby’s heartbeat. Don’t get me wrong we were so excited but it felt as if pressure was on.

I cried the entire weekend before my test. I just knew that I wasn’t pregnant. All I could think about was how everyone else was expecting but us. On sunday morning I caved and took a home pregnancy test…it was negative. I told myself that maybe it is just to early for a blood test. One more day.

The following morning I was at the doctor early for my blood test. I told the nurse about my negative test result. I could tell by the look in her eyes that this test was accurate. She told me if I was than it would have showed up yesterday but they will call me to confirm. I sobbed the entire way to work. I was so upset I even considered running my car into a tree…No lie…with the combination of a negative test result and the hormones it definably flashed across my mind several times….but that would not solve anything…only make things worse.

I got the phone call at work about 3pm. The test was negative and as expected I was devastated. I told my husband and he put on a brave face. When we got home that night we just held each other. I could not believe how hard my husband took it. He really got caught up in the idea of being a Dad with his two best friends. He turned to me and said that we were turning up the heat on this whole infertility thing…he wants to be a dad.

So now we are getting ready for the next stage, IVF. We have our game faces on and we are ready to go. I am just scared. What if having a baby isn’t something I get to do? I have wanted it my whole life. A part of me is heartbroken and I am terrified that it is going to take forever. I am trying to get everything lined up so that this goes as quickly and smoothly as possible. We just want this baby so much….we are looking at early January at the earliest. Wish us luck.

- The Mad Mama

Firehouse Meatloaf, Let the Sauce Reinvention Begin

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I was never a big meatloaf person. In fact, it was one of the dishes that could actually keep me from having a meal. My mother made it once in a great while as we were growing up but it was never something that made my family squeal with delight…that was, until the introduction of Firehouse Meatloaf.

I think my mother found the original recipe on the Food Network. She was always looking for something new to place into our family dinner rotation. This became an instant hit and grew to become more and more original each time we made it.

Some Tips for this Recipe

- This recipe only requires a few cups of pre-made tomato sauce. The quantity depends on your families preferences and if you plan to serve it will a side of pasta or not. For instructions on “How to Make a Pot of Sauce like an Italian Nonna” please see my previous post.

- This recipe is also very tasty when you substitute ground turkey for ground beef and chicken sausage in place of pork sausage.

-This recipe can be prepared in the following ways

1. As one large meatloaf
2. A series of smaller (personal sized meatloaf)

I always use option two. Just look for the smallest aluminum foil loaf pans you can. You will just construct smaller versions of the mixture. This is a great option because you can take only what you need and freeze the rest for later. I usually just use double the amount of aluminium foil on the top of the meatloaf pans I am freezing. Then when I am planning to use any of my frozen meatloaf pans I simply take it out in the morning to thaw and then cook it that evening. It works just perfect…

- In my opinion Firehouse Meatloaf goes best with a side of green beans or peas and mashed potatoes. Pasta works well also.

Ingredients for Firehouse Meatloaf

- 1 pound of lean ground beef
- 1 pound of sausage
- 1 medium onion, diced
- 3 – 4 cloves of garlic, minced
- 2 cups Italian bread crumbs
- 1 cup tomato sauce
- 1 cup grated cheese
- Rosemary, Basil, Oregano, salt and pepper (about a ½ tablespoon of each, to taste)
- 2 large eggs
- ¼ cup milk
- ½ brick of Munster Cheese, cut lengthwise into strips
- Shredded Munster Cheese and an additional 1-2 cups of tomato sauce for serving

Directions for Making Firehouse Meatloaf

Think of it like you are making meatballs…

1. Remove the sausage from their casing, discard casing
2. Mix sausage with ground beef
3. Add the eggs, breadcrumbs, grated cheese, milk, rosemary, basil, oregano, salt, pepper, onion, garlic, and 1 cup tomato sauce to the ground beef/sausage mixture and mix well.
4. At this point you will want to access the consistency of your mixture as we did when we made our meatballs. If the mixture is too wet slowly add back a few of the dry ingredients starting with the bread crumbs and grated cheese. If the mixture is too dry start by adding one egg and then a splash of milk.
5. If you are making one large meatloaf take about ½ of the meatloaf mixture and place it into the center of a greased Pyrex dish (any dish with a lip large enough to catch the meat’s drippings will work fine). Mold this into a meatloaf shape. Fill the center with the stripes of Munster cheese. Top with the remaining meatloaf mixture being sure to seal all edges to be sure the cheese does not escape during the cooking process.
6. If you are making a series of smaller meatloaf pans simply divide up about ½ of the meatloaf mixture into the small aluminum pans. Place one or two strips of Munster cheese in the center of each of the meatloaf pans you prepare. Then top this with the remaining meatloaf mixture. Be sure to seal the cheese into the center of your meatloaf so that you don’t lose any cheese in the cooking process. At this point you may freeze any of the meatloaf pans you plan to use for another meal.
7. Place the meatloaf into the oven at 375 degrees for 35 – 45 minutes or until it is golden brown and the juices run clear.
8. Let meatloaf sit for 5 – 10 minutes to cool
9. To serve spoon a generous amount of sauce over the top of the meatloaf and top with shredded Munster Cheese.

You will be revered as a culinary genius with this meal that is easy enough for a busy weeknight yet fancy enough to serve on as a holiday meal.

As always, if you prepare this recipe please comment below and let me know what you think.

Happy Cooking my Friends,

- The Mad Mama

Airplanes in the Air

I was so excited when a friend of mine asked me if I would create a quilt for her nephews birthday. He LOVES airplanes so she wanted to give him something that incorporated airplanes in some way. I immediately went to the Embroidery Library website looking for something that would fill this request.

I fell absolutely in LOVE with this design and I knew it would be perfect. The quilt top is a variation of Teacher’s Pet Take 3 Quilt Pattern which was the very first quilt pattern I ever made. I used the larger block version to allow for the embroidery to stand out against the top.

I did a free motion technique using invisible thread on my Babylock Sophia. I wanted the quilting to resemble the wind and clouds in the sky. My friend gasped at the sight o the finished product. She is so please. The quilt will be gifted at the end of the month so I will let everyone know how it was received.

Happy Sewing,

- The Mad Quilter

Learn to Make Sauce Like an Italian Nonna

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There is nothing like a pot of homemade sauce simmering on the stovetop filling your home with its warm aroma. Its like love that you can smell. As a child I would look forward to my mother’s pot of sauce she made just about every Sunday. My father, who loved my mother’s cooking above everyone else, would be so impatient that he would spend the day slowing stealing meatballs from the sauce when my mother wasn’t looking. No matter how many meatballs she made only a few made it to dinner time. It is one of our best memories of him.

So many of my friends have asked me for my recipe for sauce. They are typically shocked at how easy it actually is to make. The added bonus is once you have mastered a pot of sauce everything else you make which is sauce related (Chicken or Eggplant Parmesan, Zitti, etc.) gets exponentially better! It is also super easy and impressive to make for holidays and large family gatherings. You will look like a culinary genius and perhaps even an honorary Italian (if you are not already) as my husband is.

Follow the instructions below step by step and the result will blow your mind…

Ingredients for the Sauce (this recipe makes a large serving, freeze extra for easy future meals)

- 1 medium onion,chopped
- 3 – 4 cloves of garlic, minced (a garlic press does this job nicely)
- 3 or 4 (28oz) cans of crushed tomatoes
- 1 small can tomato paste
- Basil, Oregano, Bay Leaves, Salt and Pepper to taste
- 1 tablespoon of sugar (this helps neutralize the acidity of the tomatoes)

Directions for the Sauce

1. heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a large pan over medium heat
2. add onion and stir for about 2 minutes or until onions turn clear
3. add garlic and cook for an additional two minutes
4. Add tomatoes, tomato paste, spices and sugar
5. Simmer the sauce on low for at least 3 hours. The longer the sauce is simmering the better it will taste. Be sure to stir occasionally to reduce the chances of burning the bottom of the sauce.

Ingredients for the Italian Meatballs

- 1 pound ground chop meat
- 1 medium onion, diced
- 2 – 3 cloves of garlic, minced
- 2 cups breadcrumbs
- 2 large eggs
- ¼ cup milk
- 1 cup of grated cheese (this is the secret ingredient which makes for super yummy meatballs)
- basil, salt and pepper to taste

Directions for the Meatballs

1. Combine all ingredients and mix well
2. I also add one or two spoonfuls of the sauce to kick the flavor…this also gets that great tomato taste throughout the meatball
3. After the ingredients are mixed you will need to see how well the mixture will stick…if the mixture is too wet slowly add more dry ingredients back in (ex. breadcrumbs) if the mixture is too dry add another egg and mix
4. Create meatballs from the mixture and spread them evenly apart on a baking pan. Cook meatballs for about 15 – 20 minutes on 350. Remember, you are not completely cooking the meatball in the oven. You only want to brown the outside to keep it from breaking apart. )If you would prefer to fry your meatballs you can skip this step and brown on the stove top)
5. Place the meatballs into the sauce to finish cooking…
6. Never hesitate to make more meatballs…they are great for meatball sandwiches the next night!

It is that simple. Remember that cooking is unique to the person so feel free to experiment. Please leave me a comment if you make any of these recipes!

Stay tuned as I will share great recipes for your sauce leftovers in the coming days…

Happy Cooking all my Italians and Honorary Italians,

- The Mad Mama

Turkey Chili is Perfect for Fall

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So it is finally that time of year, a time when the air is crisp and the days are shorter. When you want to curl up on the couch with a flannel quilt and a yummy bowl of chili. It is also the time to break out that crock pot…my favorite.

As someone struggling with diabetes and weight I am always looking to reinvent my favorite meals. A few months ago I gave up ground beef for ground turkey. When using ground turkey you save 75 calories and 5 grams of saturated fat per ounce when compared the ground beef. That is a HUGE savings! Ground turkey is so yummy I encourage you to make the switch with your family as well.

I want to share with you my recipe for Turkey Chili. This is another one of those go to meals in my house and is one of my husband’s favorites. I like to make mine in my crock pot because I find that the flavor is much richer but you are welcome to use the stove top. It is also a great meal to put together the night before for an easy weeknight dinner.

Ingredients

- 1 pound ground turkey
- 1 small onion (diced)
- 3 gloves of garlic (minced)
- 1 green pepper (diced) (Optional)
- 1 (28oz) can crushed tomatoes
- 2 cans of black beans (drained) (you may use which ever variety of beans your family likes)
- 1 can of fat free re-fried beans (this is also optional but it makes a thick rich stock)
- 1 cup cooked brown rice
- Chili Powder, Cumin, and salt to taste (if your family does not like Cumin, which my husband does not, you can use one packet of taco seasoning instead)
- Shredded cheddar cheese and reduced-fat sour cream  (for serving)

Directions

- Heat two tablespoons of olive oil in a medium sauce pan
- Add onions and peppers and cook for about 2 minutes or until tender
- Add garlic and cook for an additional minute
- Add the ground turkey to brown. Be sure to stir and break apart the turkey with a spatula as it cooks. Continue until the turkey is no longer pink.
- Add mixture to your slow cooker (if you are not using the slow cooker skip to the next step)
- Add tomatoes, black beans, re-fried beans, and spices to the mixture.
- Cook in the crock pot on high for 4 – 6 hours or low for 8 – 10. If you are using the stove top you are going to want to simmer the chili for about 45 minutes.
- About 15 minutes before serving add your rice and a handful of cheddar. If you are using the crock pot you may want to adjust your spices again at this time.

Serve with cheese and reduced-fat sour cream for a garnish.

Re-purpose leftovers to have Chili Dogs one night (turkey hot dogs are very yummy) and Chili Mac and Cheese another. Your family will not be disappointed!

Try this with your family tonight and let me know what you think…

Happy Cooking,

- The Mad Mama

It Will Make You Laugh, Cry, and Appreciate Life

The thing about death is that it is so final. Someone is here one minute and gone the next. But their stuff, remnants from their last days, their life, remain. The ones who are left behind are the ones who suffer the most as we mourn the death of a loved one and try to make sense of a life without them. To everyone who has ever lost someone I want to take this time to reassure you … Heaven is For Real.

As we brace ourselves for the second anniversary of my father’s death we try to spend our time celebrating his life, his accomplishments, and the stuff he did that can still make us smile. We miss him terribly and I know that we are all looking forward to that one special day when we are reunited with him … For me, one of the most difficult aspect of dealing with my father’s death was that it shook my faith in heaven. Although I am not from a very religious family I strongly believe in God, the afterlife, and heaven but it was not until my father’s death that I really started to think long and hard about the afterlife. My biggest fear was what if this was it? What if he were just gone … gone forever … The thought of such a thing left my heart aching for an answer.

What I can say, almost two years later, is that my family and I have been blessed with the knowledge that the afterlife exists … In truth it started the day following my father’s funeral. Benjamin and I were in the car, going somewhere, and I was crying so inconsolably that my poor husband tried everything to calm me down. Now before I continue I should say that my husband is what I would consider an intellectual and is typically skeptical of anything he cannot explain. He believes in heaven but his understanding is more similar to the Buddhist belief in Nirvana … more that you become part of everything, not necessarily a destination. With that being said, Ben and I pulled up to a stop light.

Ben turned to me and said, ”I don’t believe it.”

“What” I said sitting straight up and wiping away my tears.

”Read the licence plate in front of us.” I sat up, leaned forward and did not believe my eyes … it read DADZ OK … From that point on I knew, Heaven is for Real.

It was through this experience and others like it that I came across Todd Burpo’s book entitled “Heaven is for Real.” He recounts the story of his son Colton’s brush with death and his amazing stories about God and heaven as a result. This book made me laugh, cry, and will forever send chills down my spine. I can honestly say that this book changed me tremendously … I will never be the same and feel the same way about life, death, or heaven.

I have recommended this book to everyone I know and those who took me up on this recommendation all said the same thing: there are forever changed. It came in particular handy when my former students were faced with one of the most heartbreaking of situations, the untimely death of a friend.

Jenn Mejia was the type of person who radiated sunshine from her pores. She was kind, friendly, and had a sense of humor one could not help but notice. Jenn was well loved by her friends, family, and the community in which she lived. When I was a teacher I was fortunate enough to have Jenn as a student for three of her nearly four high school years. Jenn’s life, however, was cut short, by a man trying to rob the pharmacy where she worked. What a terrible tragedy, one that took a young girl, in the prime of her life, on Father’s Day of this year.

As I looked around at former students, coworkers, friends and family of Jenn at her funeral I saw in them the same struggle I had within myself when my father passed away…was this it? Is she really gone? It was at that moment I knew that I needed to tell others about this amazing book and how much the story of little Colton Burpo profoundly changed me. I began recommending this book on the memorial page set up by Jenn’s family and in response to former student’s facebook posts about Jenn and what happened. Again, the response was the same, this book profoundly changed them… aiding in their grieving process in a way that nothing else could touch … Colton Burpo’s story is a gift to us all.

I encourage you to place this book in your summer reading plan if you had lost someone or not … you too will never be the same …

Happy Reading and Remember … Heaven is for Real

- The Mad Mama